even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize