We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
