the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
