Don't you send me to vm
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
