eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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