I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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