The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
