I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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