i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
