why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
false alarm, still single
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
