you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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