And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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