Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
