...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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