No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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