Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
