He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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