And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
