My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
