In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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