You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
