Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
