Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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