There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
