haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
one might say we're banned from that church
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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