A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
