A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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