This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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