i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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