I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
