Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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