420 ftw
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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