Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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