So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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