return my video game
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
