she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
