I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize