I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You smell like stripper and shame
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You pole danced in your parka.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
