You can't motorboat a personality
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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