I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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