next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
