People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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