I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
