Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
