Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
