he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
