Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
