Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
