Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
