yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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