Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
