she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
