4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i used baking grease as lip gloss
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
