i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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