Soap is not a condiment
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
