ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I need a beard to bite.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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