I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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