Pants 0. Shit 1.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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