Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
