Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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