i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
