I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
