I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize