halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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