Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
