I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
