I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have demons in me.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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