I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
